I feel paralyzed because I am away from the community that I normally rely upon to process this filth. I am angry at the banal and vanilla statements put out by many, including too many Catholic leaders. I have become numb by the sheer number of these events. But there is something new to me in this experience. It is the fear I feel not just for myself or for black Americans in general, but for the 80 young black children who are students at the middle school I have been asked to lead: Brooklyn Jesuit Prep.
I fear what this summer has in store for them and other black children of central Brooklyn. I fear that without summer jobs or camps, and faced with over-policing, more black youths will have encounters with police—encounters that often do not end well for people who look like them.
In the face of those nine minutes, words telling these black and brown children how much I love them, how much they are valued seem to fall flat. I must admit that there have been times that I have found it difficult to hold despair at bay.
But it is not only that they fall flat; it is that these children are already loved; they already know they are loved as children of God. Yes, we all need reminding of this, but in the face of these nine minutes they do not only need to be told that they are loved. They are not void of love. They are not victims. It is not they who need a message but our world, our country and our collaborators. Perhaps you do as well. As a black Jesuit and a priest, I mainly live in a white world.
Which means it is my burden, responsibility and task to talk about events like this with my white brothers and sisters. These conversations happen after every sensationalized black death. Sometimes my friends and collaborators just want to talk. Sometimes they call to listen. Usually, these conversations include a desire to better understand or to participate in some way. But I must admit that I often avoid these conversations—and not because these people are unimportant to me or because these issues do not need to be discussed.
I avoid them because they are exhausting. They are exhausting because, I have found, that while white people can engage these issues at their leisure, discuss them in person or on social media and then withdraw again to their daily concerns, I cannot do that.
The students whom I love and for whom I am responsible cannot do that. Black America cannot do that. I am exhausted because we cannot withdraw from this painful cycle. Psalm 13 is the cry of black Americans. We have been crying out this question for centuries. But we cannot cry it alone anymore. Of course, this means making changes to our unjust system: We have to change the structures that prevent black people from voting.
Substandard education must be improved. We need to change unjust laws that produce economic inequality. The criminal justice system must be reformed. A psalm of David. How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long will you look the other way?
Berean Study Bible For the choirmaster. A Psalm of David. Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? New American Standard Bible For the music director. NASB For the choir director. Wilt Thou forget me forever?
How long wilt Thou hide Thy face from me? Amplified Bible To the Chief Musician. Christian Standard Bible For the choir director. Holman Christian Standard Bible For the choir director. A Davidic psalm. LORD, how long will You forget me? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
It was unexpected and left me reeling, though still praising and trusting God. I love God and I trust that him allowing my son to go home was merciful, but nothing stops the ache of losing a child. How I wish I could come into a joyful season, but I know that God is right here with me.
Thank you for these scriptures. In fact, I quoted that on my blog, as well, come to think of it. Love this post! I am taking baby steps towards learning to praise Him during the waiting period. While I am not experiencing many of the trials that most of the ladies commenting are going through, I am in a season of expectation and waiting…on the Lord to bring me my one day husband!
I am 33, and I have been through some tough realizations the past few years with men, and have taken this past year to really stay single and get closer to God! I am finding myself ready for that to begin. But…His timing. To keep following Him and letting Him guide me. He will grant the desires of my heart in ways that I could never imagine if I just keep waiting on Him. It feels like my husband will never find a job.
With each final interview that he goes on with these Fortune companies, we are hopeful and full of excitement. Then he is passed over. Especially this time of year when so much is required of us financially. I will praise the Lord for all we have, even if what money we have is dwindling. This season of waiting is the hardest of our lives. I hope and pray our marriage and our family make it through this.
Thank you! I so needed to be reminded of this today. I will praise God for He is faithful and His love is unending. I am where this Psalm is. I know God is there. I know He hears me. I am so tired and so weary. So tired of being sad. Of hoping only to see it vanish like mist.
But, oh, it is so much harder than I thought it would be. I have been putting in LONG hours of hard physical work that has not been as difficult as the emotional part of it and have not been in the Word other than verses here and there and reading short Psalms but not SOAPing or SOAKing because of exhaustion and circumstances.
Finally making time to read this post- what a blessing! Thank you for this post. My husband said some very cruel words last night and I cried myself to sleep asking God to take this pain away. I have lived with an emotionally abusive spouse for so long.
This morning, he apologized by text. I have to remember that it is in His time alone…not mine. Your email address will not be published. I accept the Privacy Policy.
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Skip to content Psalm 13 1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Have you been there? Have you prayed and asked God — How long? How long will your trials last? How long until God answers your prayers? How long must you wrestle with your thoughts? How long must you suffer with sorrow?
How long will those who dislike you, get to enjoy your sufferings from afar? We can feel those same feelings during a season of waiting on God. David goes from crying out to God — to singing in 6 short verses! He is rich in love and for all His goodness, we will keep on singing! Stanza 3 says: And on that day when my strength is failing The end draws near and my time has come Still my soul will sing Your praise unending Ten thousand years and then forevermore Amen!
Previous Previous. Next Continue. Courtney and Jen, Both of your posts have blessed me. Courtney , Thank you for penning those encouraging words. Thank you for being an instrument for God.
Jen, Thank you from reminding me that each day is a blessing. Thanks for this wonderful and encouraging post, Courtney! This hit home more than I can explain in words! What a perfect post to wake up to this morning!! God Bless, Lisa. What a wonderful post.
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